Camden Mayor Says City About To Turn Corner ... No Seriously This Time

At a press conference outside of the historic RCA Building, which has been undergoing renovations for over five years, Camden, New Jersey Mayor Gwendolyn Faison said the city is about to turn the corner and eventually return its the glory days of the early 20th Century. Repeatedly during the press conference Faison asked reporters to hold down their laughter saying, "No, I'm serious."

For dozens of years the "Camden Turnaround" has been bandied about by lawmakers and business people on both sides of the Delaware River, but Faison said some recent developments have her believing the city is on the upswing.

"I'm sure you all saw the reports recently coming out of this city, and this really tells me things are changing for the better," said Faison. "We had a 44 pound cat walking the streets of Camden, now if you've got a 44 pound cat, things are good."

But Faison was quick to point out that changes are necessary if the city is to reach the front page of the paper for things other than obese felines and crime.

"The truth is we need to get more white people around here, but they're all too scared," she said. "There's more to Camden than an unaffiliated minor league baseball team or an aquarium or an amphitheater for a bunch of white folks to see Journey and Cheap Trick. OK, there's not much more, but there's more."

When asked what about future plans to draw more residents and tourists to the city, Faison said her office intends on drawing on help from what she called "our friends across the river, particularly Mayor Nutter."

Asked for comment on if and how his office planned on helping Camden and Faison, Philadelphia mayor Michael Nutter responded by saying "Where? Oh the place with the Excitement Aquarium or whatever? Yea sure, tell her to call my people."

Marine Returns From Iraq, Immediately Returns to Iraq

The Iraq War began on March 20, 2003 and has lead to 4,134 U.S. casualties. There are daily kidnappings, bombings, and bloodshed on every corner. But don't tell that to U.S. Marine Donald Ginslow. He recently completed his third tour of duty in the Middle East and returned to his West Philadelphia home for some "R&R". Five days later, the house went up for sale.

He states, "You have grandmothers carrying handguns, people dying every night. There's crazies walking the streets, coming for your children. And if SEPTA raises their rates one more time, I swear I'll..."

As the 2008 election quickly approaches, and talks lead to the eventual return of all U.S. Troops, Ginslow can't wait to get back overseas. He recently put a downpayment on a two story home near the outskirts of Fallujah, with a scenic view of a local bridge that spans the Euphrates.

"Honestly, Iraq was huge mistake and the area is a complete mess, but its nothing like living in West Philadelphia. You can't find a damn trash can anywhere, and everything smells like poopie."

Local Blogger Wears Anti-Smog Mask To Cover Olympics, Face

As athletes from around the globe descend on Beijing, China for the 2008 Olympics, the concern for many is the air quality in a country who's air pollution has been on the rise as it quickly industrializes. But the athletes are not the only ones anxious over the thick smog and how it might hinder their performance. One local blogger has taken to donning a respiratory mask to lessen the pollution's effect as he types away at his laptop.

Enrico Campitelli Jr., who founded the Philadelphia sports blog The 700 Level in 2003, is in Beijing to cover the 2008 Summer Games and said he's worried the poor air quality might have a negative effect on his writing style.

"I don't want people who read my work to look at this stuff from China and say, "What the hell happened?" said Campitelli. "So, hopefully this mask allows me to keep using words like 'schadenfreude' liberally.

Earlier this week four American cyclists caused controversy when they arrived at the Beijing airport wearing masks covering their noses and mouths. The group has since apologized, but Campitelli says there hasn't been any uproar with his mask wearing.

"I haven't had anyone complain about this yet, although I've been wearing this Chase Utley shirt a lot and that gets some reaction," said Campitelli. "They don't really boo in this country because ... well you know. 'Boos mean bullets' I think is the saying they have.

Campitelli says the 12 hour time zone difference will probably effect his ability to follow some of the Philadelphia sports, including the Eagles' first pre-season game this Sunday.

"It'll be 7:30 on Monday morning here, so let's see, yeah I'll be getting ready to go see either Men's Archery or the Women's Individual Foil," he said. "So yeah, I'm pretty excited."

Coverage of the opening ceremony for the games begins Friday at 7:30 on NBC. Unfortunately for the local NBC affiliate the Phillies will be taking on those dreaded Pittsburgh Steelers Penguins Pirates at the same time. More importantly the team will be honoring Juan Samuel by inducting him into their Wall of Fame before the game and handing out commemorative posters for the occasion. And you know how popular Juan Samuel is. Sorry Olympic games.

Hello From Lehigh: Eagles Training Camp Day 10

The players (and this particular writer) cheered a collective, "Yay" before the start of training Eagles camp practice drills at Lehigh University, after the morning session was canceled due to a water main break. Eagles backing up quarterback, Kevin Kolb, used this extra time to sleep in. I used the break in the football playing to visit the main campus book store. The traffic was light due to many students being away on summer break and one employee stated that the majority of players cannot read.

I picked up the newest Giada De Laurentiis pasta cook book and headed to the checkout counter when something caught my eye. Local artist Martin Slamon has published a new illustrated book from Scholastic entitled "Where' Shawn Andrews Now?"

Readers must search for Shawn as he hides among thousands of people in various Philadelphia locales, including the Italian Market and Rittenhouse Square. Also hidden throughout the book are various items the number 73 is known to carry: like his cell phone, a ham sandwich, and a snake necklace he left at one of his girlfriends houses.

Andrews, an all-star offensive lineman, who's job it is to protect the number 5 from being placed on the ground by an opposing player, has been missing from Eagles practice training meeting football camp for unknown reasons.

"Where' Shawn Andrews Now?" can be purchased through digidigidigi via PayPal.

Tight Ends: Rookie safety Quintin Demps joined cornerbacks Lito Sheppard and Asante Samuel on the Injury Hurting list... Brian Dawkins handed out FREE Touchdown Sundaes from Turkey Hill and he scared me... Andy Reid's mustache is red with little bits of gold in it.

Tensions Escalate Within Philadelphia Blogosphere

In a press conference earlier today, Philadelphia District Attorney Lynne Abraham said the Philadelphia Police Department will be creating a Blog Crime Task Force after recent threats were made in what Abraham is calling "the Philadelphia blogosphere."

"Without going into specifics we were tipped off to a threat made from one blog to another and we're going to try to cut this off before it escalates further," said Abraham. "We're taking this very seriously, because we know people who sit behind computers all day can be very unstable."

Abraham said it became apparent measures needed to be taken when a blogger for website The Fightins, who goes by the name "Chamomiles Davis," commented on the fantastic up-and-coming website The Phunyun by saying, "Good site over here, boys. Be a shame if anything was to... 'happen' to it."

Scooter Delano Murphy, sportswriter for The Phunyun said he was very intimidated by the comment. "I'm 82 years old and I don't even know what a blob or a blobosphere is," he said. "But I tell you what, I'll knock that guy's dick in the dirt, and I'm 82 years old."

Abraham said the new task force will focus on sites like Phillyist, Philebrity and The 700 Level, but police will also be monitoring lesser known blogs.

"It's like everyday there's a new one that pops up, who's reading this stuff?" asked Abraham. "Next thing you know they'll have a blog that just completely makes up stories. That'll be the day."

LOLcat Becomes Required Learning in Philly School District

In a stunning decision made late Friday evening, the Philadelphia School District voted 6 to 4 in favor of a new policy that requires 75 % of all Philadelphia public schools make LOLcat a requirement of their current curriculum. Superintendent of schools, Dr. Arlene C. Ackerman made the official announcement of the new movement within the school district and plans are now in place to make LOLcat mandatory in all Philadelphia schools by the Fall of 2010. She stated, "With the progression of technology in today's world of schooling, we have all come to the agreement that communication has to become faster and more modern in order to keep up."

Before the implementation of this new policy, students were required to select Spanish, French, German, or Italian as an elective in order to graduate. Philip K. Spectrum, a 10th grader at Central High states, "I CAN HAZ no choice? MAH father DO WANT me to learn Spanish. But TEH SCHOOLZ says that's MAH problem."

Along with regular courses in LOLcat, students in Track 1 or an advanced placement levels are also offered lessons in LOLrus, with a intense focus on discovery of "bucket." These particular courses count towards legitimate college credit at select schools within the Philadelphia region.

Following Flyers Lead, Phillies To Play Game At Former Vet Stadium Site

Earlier this week it was reported the Philadelphia Flyers would play a preseason game in the Spectrum as a final goodbye to the building they called home for 29 years. Not to be outdone the Philadelphia Philles have announced plans to play a game at the former site of Veterans Stadium which is now a parking lot.

Comcast-Spectacor plans to demolish the Spectrum sometime in 2009 to make room for Philly Live!, a retail, dining and entertainment district but will host one final NHL game on September 27 when the Flyers take on the Carolina Hurricanes. When John Brazer, publicity director for the Phillies, heard of the Flyers plan, he quickly made arraingments for the Phillies to do something similar.

"People had mixed feelings about the Vet at the time of the demolition, but sentiment has changed now that we're four years removed," said Brazer. "So, I think people would like to see us play a game at the Vet again."

The problem with Brazer's plan is the Vet was demolished in 2004 and the site is now home to a parking lot for the South Philadelphia stadium complex. Brazer says he's unphased by the lack of a stadium or even a playing surface.

"If you were ever on the turf at the Vet then you know it was pretty much the same as playing on concrete, so it's not going to be an issue," Brazer said.

The news of the return to the former site of the Vet was news to most Phillies players last night after they wrapped up a 3-game sweep of the Washington Nationals. Shortstop Jimmy Rollins was not excited about the idea.

"Playing in the parking lot? That's some bullshit right there," said Rollins.

But centerfielder Shane Victorino says he's ready to take on any opponent on the concrete.

"Oh, no questions asked," he said. "We'll kick some asphalt! Ha! Get it? Ass ... phalt. Genius!"