World Series Champs Release Magical Holiday Album

Those tuning in to PBS (WHYY) tomorrow evening will not see the regularly scheduled "Chris Isaak Christmas" or "Christmas with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir." Instead, they will be treated to a holiday music tour de force, featuring the unlikely coupling of the 2008 World Series Champions, the Philadelphia Phillies, with star recording artists ranging from Hall n' Oates to Sir Elton John. This special, taped just weeks ago at the Kimmel Center in Philadelphia, features select songs from the new album "Christmas Came Two Months Early..." the brainchild of Phil Spector, world renowned producer and murderer. Phillies Manager Charlie Manuel coined the popular phrase that adorns each CD insert in a speech at the conclusion of the Championship parade at Citizen's Bank Park. Since that moment, the city of Philadelphia had been in a state of Christmas Euphoria.

Contributors to PBS fundraisers and drives can get their holiday 2 disc-set for a donation of $200.00 US. Disc One is 16 tracks of holiday cheer with a dash of Phillies championship baseball. Highlights include musical cameos by MLB Commissioner Bud Selig, former star of "Who's the Boss?" Alyssa Milano, star of Broadway and stage Robert Goulet, the Vienna Boys Choir and many more... all teamed up with South Philadelphia's favorite team to sing old and new Christmas classics. Disc Two is a DVD packed with extras from the making of the album. Take on the Phillie Phanatic in an interactive sleigh ride on the Schuykill, follow local camera crews for behind the scenes bloopers in the 60 min. all access documentary, or help local radio personality from 610 WIP, Howard Eskin, save his collection of Christmas mink coats from the PETA Grinches.

Full Track listing for Disc 1 can be found by clicking more below.
More...

1. O' Coach O' Coach, C. Manuel - the entire 2008 World Series Championship Philadelphia Phillies roster headed by Robert Goulet.
2. Step Into Kalas - Phillies announcer Harry Kalas and Sir Elton John.
3. Jingle Burrell Rock - outfielder, Pat Burrell and the Phillies Ball Girls.
4. Here Comes Blanton Claus - pitcher and game four hero Joe Blanton on the sax (instrumental).
5. Joy to the World (F*cking Champions) - Chase Utley and the Vienna Boys Choir.
6. Silent Ninth - perfect closer, Brad Lidge with the help of J.C. Romero and Ryan Madson.
7. Do You Eyre What I Eyre? - Scott Eyre, Chad Durbin, and J.A. Happ team up with the Bare Naked Ladies.
8. Baby, it's Wet Outside - MLB commissioner Bud Selig and the Citizen's Bank Grounds Crew, with a special solo by Fox's John Bolaris.
9. Gillick-alikimaka - Shane and brother Mau-hulo Victorino celebrate the Phillies former GM and their native land.
10. What Inning is This? - Sarge Matthews and Alyssa Milano.
11. Deck the Wife - Phillies starting pitcher, Brett Myers and the Boston PD.
12. Ruiz/Feliz Navidad - catcher Carlos Ruiz and third baseman Pedro Feliz mambo with Buena Vista Social Club.
13. O' Little Town of Souderton - The Jamie Moyer Family.
14. Brunt-lett it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow - pinch hitter Eric Bruntlett, Daryl Hall and John Oates.
15. Swing Away in a Manger - Ryan Howard and his animated bat, Hitty (voiced by Dom De Louise).
16. I've Got My Glove to Keep Me Warm - golden glover Jimmy Rollins and soul artist Eryka Badu.

Septa Announces "What The Fuck Did You Expect Really?"

Friday's Phillies championship parade drew such a crowd into Philadelphia that the city's public transportation system suspended service into the city at 1 p.m. leaving thousands of fans unable to reach the parade. This is just one part of SEPTA's ongoing "We Really Just Don't Give A Shit" campaign.

Early estimates say Friday's Phillies championship parade drew over two million people into the city from 20th and Market to the stadium complex in South Philly. Because of the huge crowd, and the urging of Philadelphia mayor Michael Nutter, many decided to take SEPTA, Philadelphia's public transportation system. But by midday they had cancelled all inbound service to the city so trains would be available to bring people home after the parade.

"The option was really to either add more trains to alleviate the congestion, or just give up," said SEPTA spokesperson Dee Ouchebag. "So we just stopped running the trains inbound because we really just don't give a shit."

As it turned out, SEPTA's hard work getting trains back to Philadelphia worked well as thousands of people were left stranded, some waiting more than three hours for trains heading to the suburbs.

"I live in the suburbs, we don't take the goddamn train out there, we drive," said first time SEPTA rider Rico Savage. "I've been standing [at Suburban Station] for two hours now, I'm never using SEPTA again."

Ouchebag said SEPTA has been getting thousands of reactions like that all day.

"And that's basically what we're looking for at SEPTA," said Ouchebag. "This was our moment to really show people what we were all about and I think now everyone in the Philadelphia region, and hopefully the world, know we really just don't give a shit."

UPDATE: William Penn Statue Torn Down, Fans Proclaim "The Curse Is Overthrown"

Today at approximately 10 a.m., a number of unidentified Philadelphia sports fans were able hijack a FOX-29 helicopter and removed the William Penn statue which once stood above City Hall. The statue, once the icon for the so-called "William Penn Curse" which kept Philadelphia sports teams from winning a championship, was ripped from it's base and then dropped 12 stories to the City Hall concourse.

A large group of revelers who were still celebrating after Wednesday night's World Series victory, gathered around the remains of the statue to take out 28 years of frustration on the William Penn likeness, beating it with hammers, shoes and stale Amoroso rolls.

"We overthrew the curse!" screamed Center City resident Adam Eneav. "William Penn is finally dead!"

When asked about the William Penn incident in a press conference this afternoon, Philadelphia mayor Michael Nutter said the city will not take the actions lightly.

"That kind of idiotic, destructive behavior will not be accepted," said Nutter. "You can celebrate, but you cannot be a jackass."

Philadelphia Residents Take Out 25 Years of Frustration on William Penn Statue

The William Penn statue, sitting atop Philadelphia's City Hall has long been rumored to be the cause of the city's sports failures. But with Wednesday night's World Series win by the Phillies a select number of fans are making sure the curse is dead for good by tearing down the iconic structure.

Following celebrations that went into the early hours of Thursday an unidentified number of assailants gained access to a FOX-29 helicopter with the intention of removing the William Penn statue from it's perch. By 8:30 a.m. the perpetrators were hovering above City Hall, had fastened a harness around the statue and were attempting to remove the statue from it's moorings.

The Phunyun was able to conduct a brief phone interview with a member of group who asked to remain anonymous and said he wanted to make sure other didn't have to suffer as long as he did.

"Look, I'm 30 and I don't remember 1980 or '83 and I don't want my kids or my kids' kids to have to wait their entire lives to see a championship," said the group's leader. "Not that I have kids, or even want them. I mean I can't take care of myself barely, I'm stealing helicopters for fuck's sake. Shit, I'm thinking maybe this wasn't a good idea now that I'm sobering up."

The group has gained some followers who agree William Penn was the source of their sports misery for the past 25 years. Justin Eyem said he would like to take out his frustrations on the statute.

"I've been waiting my whole life for a championship," said Eyem. "If that statue was in front of me right now I would probably beat the shit out of it."

The group hopes to have the statue fully removed later this morning. In a surprising move the city has yet to stop the statue's removal and Mayor Nutter's office was unavailable for comment by press time.

PHILS WIN THE WORLD SERIES OF BASEBALL GAMING...

... No really, they did!!! 2008 Champions!!!

The Soul Release Championship Apparel (Reminder)

The Philadelphia Soul, 2008 Arena football ball club Champions, have released new apparel reminding the city that they were the first team to win a title in the past 25 years. T-shirts, sweat-shirts, dog shirts, shirt shirts, and Zubaz pants are available at cafe-press for $20, each adorned with the playful catch phrase "Uh... We Already Has?" All proceeds from sales will be donated to the H.A.A. or "Hair Across Africa" organization, a group created by Soul owner and musician Jon Bon Jovi. H.A.A. helps malnourished and dying African children get really amazing 80's hair cuts.

Phillies Receive Much Coveted Tony The Tiger Endorsement

A number of celebrities have been seen in Philadelphia during this year's World Series including country music stars Taylor Swift and Tim McGraw and hometown NBA star Rasheed Wallace. But many were stunned Monday night when Frosted Flakes pitchman Tony the Tiger was seen on the Broad Street subway donning a Phillies jersey.

"If you've ever seen our commercials you know I'm a big sports fan," said the Tiger. "I'm not necessarily a Phillies fan per se, but I'm a huge fan of Jimmy Rrrrrrrrrrollins. Sorry, that's a tick I have."

A recent Phunyun/New York Times survey found that the cereal advertising world was essentially split down the middle in the World Series support. However, Barney Rubble later told The Phunyun he was only rooting for the Phillies to try to steal Fred's Fruity Pebbles.