Mendte to Receive Pardon from President Bush

Beleagured former KYW-Tv Newscaster Larry Mendte pleaded guilty in court Friday to charges that he illegally hacked into the email account of his co-anchor, Alycia Lane. Sources close to the Phunyun believe that if sentenced to a prison term, Mendte will be pardoned by President George W. Bush. These rumors have spurred on rampant speculation that Mendte has given up the news in order to pursue a career in internet surveillance, gaining intelligence to fight the war on terror.

Alabaster Le'Creme, Public Affairs officer for the Women's U.S. Gymnastics squad, believes that the anonymous hacker who exposed the Chinese ruse involving the use of underage gymnists to win the gold in these 2008 Summer Olympics was none other than Larry Mendte. He states, "The man has had a ton of time on his hands recently, and he obviously has a gift. So many people are looking at this thing from the wrong angle."

Family and friends of Mendte blame his recent troubles on the film, Swordfish, starring Hugh Jackman as a hacker who must use his web talent to get back his daughter. The former host of prime-time CBS 3 news received the movie as a gift this past Christmas. Mendte faces a possible 5 years in prison.

Larry Mendte Might Know Your MySpace Password

Authorities are asking all those with MySpace/Facebook or e-mail accounts to change their passwords in the aftermath of the recent Larry Mednte scandal. If evidence is to be believed, the former CBS3 newscaster accessed his fellow co-anchor Alycia Lane's Yahoo e-mail account 537 times over the span of 146 days. Using a small keystroke-logging device and his ninja like skill, Mendte easily obtained Lane's password and began his personal investigation, perhaps in search of those Rich Eisen bikini shots.

Social networking website users who have recently logged into their accounts only to hear that they've un-knowningly sent fellow users messages about "free ring tones" or "hott web graphix" should contact authorities immediately. Their password has more than likely been "mend-teed" and can no longer be trusted.